How to Write Sexual Tension

How to Write Sexual Tension

One of the fun things about writing romance is that it’s actually your job to annoy readers! And you do this by ramping up the sexual tension between two (or more) characters and then repeatedly denying anyone relief. That first touch or kiss (etc) is just so much more satisfying if the characters, not to mention the readers, are desperate for it. So whether your characters are the type to explode into passion or just have a really emotional handshake, sexual tension can make it all the more delicious. Here are some tips to turn up the heat.

Purely romantic tension—a romance writer’s bread and butter—often involves a character imagining future dates, couplehood, or marriage; wishing they had the courage to confess their feelings, wondering if the other person might share those feelings, turning red when Aunt Griselda pipes up at the Thanksgiving table to say she’s always thought they would make beautiful babies with their best friend. Romantic tension is quite lovely! Sexual tension does basically the same thing, but it’s more physical.

Sexual tension is all about touch. Your character can imagine brushing hands with their crush, linking arms, bumping shoulders, and on into kissing and other bedroom activities. Your character might focus on a certain body part of their love interest: lips and mouth are common, along with hands and, well, any other areas they might spend too much time thinking about.

And it doesn’t have to be the case that these two characters have never touched. In fact, they might regularly hold hands, squish themselves onto a too-small couch, or even give shoulder rubs. The point is, your character wants more, and as a writer, you should almost give it to them, and then snatch it away. So fun!

To write sexual tension, start by getting your characters close—close enough so Character A can feel Character B’s body heat and smell their scent, see details of their skin and eyes, and be aware that B can sense the same of them.

So now, the almost touch. Or, if they’re already touching, the almost this-is-definitely-more-than-a-friendly-touch. Character A can hover their hand above B’s shoulder, or A’s gaze might fall to B’s mouth and stay there. A may look like they’re about to brush B’s hair back or hug them. But then either A or B or both pull back, or they’re suddenly interrupted by another character or noise or other convenient plot device.

Good, that’s one. Now let’s do it again, and this time, A and B have a new thought to obsess over: Was B really about to touch me? Were they really going to kiss me, or was it my imagination? So the tension is already high to start.

Let’s say this time Character A is climbing down a ladder after wallpapering the kitchen with B’s favorite flower, which is a total coincidence, and B puts a hand on their elbow to steady them. Such a tiny touch. It would hardly be noticed, except your characters are already thinking about touching, and that sets off a whole reaction, and more frantic overthinking. Rinse and repeat.

Popular plots as this progresses include dancing or dancing lessons, massages, and that not-super-plausible-but-so-delicious thing where Character A trips and falls into B’s arms. Bonus if A’s all warm and sleepy in their way-sexier-than-they-should-be flannel PJ’s.

But again, nothing happens except B desperately wondering what would have happened if they hadn’t gotten interrupted by the cat growingly menacingly at a dark corner (whoops, sorry, wrong genre). What does the rest of A’s body look like under those PJ’s? How would it feel to touch A without the PJ’s at all?

And maybe at lunch A gives a groan of appreciation into their mac-n-cheese, and now B wants to hear that noise again during sexy times. Or B blushes and A helplessly comes up with a 7-step plan to make B blush again.

Of course, this is not a one-way street. If you build the tension high enough, at some point the characters are probably going to realize it’s happening to both of them. That adds another layer of tension: what is the other character thinking? A looked like they were going to kiss me and didn’t—why? Are they going to make a different choice next time? What do I do if they kiss me? What do I do if they don’t?!

(This would all likely be resolved by the two characters having a frank discussion about their feelings, but this is romance, so nobody wants them to actually do that.)

And then, the moment finally arrives. A kiss, a hug, a touch to the cheek, a night of passion by a roaring fire, a hookup in the bathroom of a haunted bookstore, whatever. Your readers and characters are so happy! Except now the readers kind of miss that tension. Have no fear—you can start it over! Yes, even if they had sex.

To do that, you need to come up with some plot reason why it can’t happen again. No more kissing, no more bedroom sporting events. A is betrothed to someone else, B is a space alien (and betrothed to someone else), or whatever. (Note that readers don’t tend to like it if A and B split over a simple misunderstanding, so an actual plot reason is best.) The sexual tension is actually easier to write at this point because your characters have memories of those events now. They know how good it was. Losing it after having it once is almost worse.

But of course, this is romance, so at the end, the tension will be relieved by a happy ending. Yep, that kind of happy ending.

Thanks for reading!

Want to be SFW with that eventual love scene? How to write implied smut

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